COMMENTARY: WRITING TO CLN
This issue contains a particularly large number of comments from
readers. (The retailers' thoughts are in "Benny Da
Buyer.") I am delighted with that. I'm in my 11th year
publishing CLN and my favorite compliment was a reader
describing CLN as "the village green of the industry,
where everyone can come together to discuss the issues of the
day."
That's exactly what I want CLN to be. The more the
merrier. Here's my unofficial guidelines for publishing comments: 1.
Everyone is welcome to comment. 2. I won't print rumors
until I have checked their veracity. 3. A reader's comment
does not have to agree with me; CLN would be really boring if
everything came from a single point of view. A reader's note just
has to be interesting or thought-provoking (or funny). 4. Don't
worry about punctuation, spelling grammar, etc.; I'll fix it. 5.
Regarding "Name Withheld": I'll sign your comment that way
as long as I know who you are. (I have received unsigned emails from
mysterious addresses.) I never want to get a reader in trouble
because I published his or her name.
So, have a question or comment about an industry issue? Let me
know; the email is mike@clnonline.com.
NEW COLUMNS THIS ISSUE
Business-Wise.
Craftrends published its last hard-copy issue, following
by a few months the demise of CNA. What happened to the
industry's craft trade magazines? Here's a brief history and what it
may mean for trade shows, and what it says about the state of
independent retailers.
"Benny
Da Buyer". Retailers speak out on chain stores'
coupons, individual paper vs. pads, offering a slide-scanning
service, investing in technology, and the younger generation.
"Vinny
Da Vendor". How one vendor scammed a scammer and
an important lesson to prevent companies from being the victim of
high-tech fraud.
Category
Reports. "Reborning" is a new form of dollmaking
with results that are astonishingly realistic.
(Note: If a column appears "old," click the
Reload or Refresh button on your browser.)
TAKE THE CLN POLL; IS
THE WORST OVER?
Gas prices are declining, although still higher than a year ago,
and consumers have spent or saved their economic stimulus checks.
How does the upcoming Fall/Christmas season look for your business?
Better than last year? Worse? To vote, click on Industry Polls in
the right-hand column or click HERE.
CLN
POLL: GRADING THE CHA
SUMMER SHOW
Exhibitors were a bit more positive about the show than
attendees, but both groups essentially graded the show a C. Only
7.1% of exhibitors thought the show deserved an A, while 25.0% gave
it a B. More than half, 53.62% rated the show a C, while 10.7% give
it a D and 3.6% flunked it. If the show was a college student, the
GPA would be 2.21.
Only 11.1% of the attendees gave the show an A, and 22.2% gave it
a B. Slightly more than a third, 37.0%, thought the show deserved a
C, while 22.2% give it a D and 7.4% flunked it. That's a GPA of
2.07.
A.C. MOORE SALES RISE BUT ....
Sales for the second quarter ended June 30 were $126.4 million,
up 1.6% but same-store sales decreased by 4.8%. There was a net loss
of $4.3 million ($0.21/share), compared with a net loss of $0.6
million ($0.03) a year ago. This year's results include charges
related to the non-cash fixed asset impairment of $0.07 and store
closing costs of $0.02 per share. Last year's results include a
charge of $0.03 related to a one-time legal settlement.
Sales for the first two quarters were $253.0 million, down 2.6%,
and same-store sales fell 8.4%. There was a net loss of $6.0 million
($0.30) versus a net loss of $0.2 million ($0.01) a year ago. The
accounting charges for the six month period were $0.13, compared to
$0.01 a year ago.
CEO Rick Lepley stated, "During the quarter we continued
work at the store and corporate level on improving our overall
execution and installing state-of-the-art information systems. We
remain focused on the areas that will have a favorable long-term
impact on our company."
JO-ANN SALES RISE BUT ...
Jo-Ann reported its second-quarter sales rose 3.7% to $403
million, and same-store sales rose 3.3%, but analysts polled by
Thomson Financial expected $410 million.
For the first two quarters, net sales rose 4.5% to $849.1 million
and same-store sales have increased 3.9%.
The company said its second-quarter earnings report will be
released Aug. 27. (Comment: Put this in the "You Can't
Win" file: Jo-Ann is clearly performing better than many other
retailers see the "July Retail Sales Report" below but
the stock dropped 5% because sales didn't match analysts'
expectations.)
WAL-MART SALES RISE NO
BUTS
Net sales for the second quarter rose 10.4% to $101.6 billion.
Sales in U.S. stores rose 8.5% to $64.1 billion. Same-store sales,
not counting fuel, rose 4.6%. Income from continuing operations rose
9.3% to $3.385 billion ($0.86 diluted earnings/share) a record.
The company expects same-store sales to increase 1-2% in the
third quarter, and raised its guidance on earnings/share to $0.73 -
$0.76 for the quarter and $3.43 - $3.50 for the year.
DARICE BUYS INQUE BOUTIQUE
PRODUCT LINES
Inque Boutique's John McDonald said, "We are pleased to make
this announcement as Darice is one of the largest and very best
companies in our industry and their resources, distribution systems,
and merchandising programs will bring added benefits to Inque
Boutique's customers and products."
Darice's Mike Catan added, "Inque Boutique's innovative
rubber stamping and paper crafting product lines are a natural fit
to augment our already extensive paper crafting offering, and we
look forward to working with Inque Boutique customers in the
future."
JOHN MCDONALD: A REMARKABLE
CAREER
Forty-three years ago a teenage John McDonald was driving a van
around Florida selling resin and other products for his father's
wholesale business. (Making resin grapes was the industry's first
trend.) There weren't any craft stores per se in 1965, but that was
the start of John's career in our industry.
And what a career it's been.
Since John was visiting any Florida store remotely interested in
this fledgling craft concept, he thought he could rep other
companies, too, and applied to Crest Art which at the time was the
largest art material distributor in the southeast. Crest Art's sales
manager was a guy named David Cunningham.
That began a decades-long relationship through Cunningham Art
Products and Plaid. The two of them, along with CFO George
Boehm, helped Plaid become one of the most successful companies in
the industry's history. Later, after David sold Plaid, they joined
forces again with Tom Beckman and bought Back Street, which was
later sold. So John started yet another business, Sugarloaf, and
later reinvented it as Inque Boutique.
Among John's accomplishments: 1. Instrumental in founding
one of the industry's first chains, a franchise operation based in
Atlanta called Craft Shack. 2. Changed Craftrends from
a Plaid company catalog into a trade magazine that pioneered the use
of color. (For more on Craftrends' history, read Business-Wise.)
3. Produced the first craft series on the Lifetime network. 4.
Produced the first craft infomercial with Amazing Discoveries
and went on to do many more. 5. Was the first ever to
have craft products sold on QVC.
PROMOTIONS IN THE 21ST
CENTURY, REVISITED
The Mar. 3 edition of CLN reported on the Internet
following of Kathy Cano-Murillo, the Crafty Chica as an
example of the new wave of marketing techniques: "Consider
these statistics: by the time the Crafty Chica line was
introduced [by Duncan] at the CHA show, Kathy had
10,139 friends on her MySpace page, and her website, craftychica.com,
receives 1 to 3 million hits per month. Her October stats were
slightly under 3 million hits, and February has averaged 59,000 hits
per day."
The line is now in 140 Michaels stores in TX, CA, AR, CO,
CN, FL, IL, MA, NY, NJ, NM, NE, NY, OR, WA, and WI. Kathy is touring
Michaels stores in Arizona and California in support of the Crafty
Chica line of products and writes often about the line on her
website and MySpace page. Meanwhile, Michaels issued a press release
about the line highly unusual which has generated press
coverage in a variety of newspapers. The coverage was so extensive
that a profile of Kathy in the Arizona Republic was picked up
by the Louisville Journal, even though Michaels stores in
Kentucky are not (yet) offering the line.
(Comment: In addition to being a good lesson in Internet
marketing, it's an example of what can be done when a designer,
manufacturer, and retailer work together in a true partnership.)
A NEW SHOW FOR OLD INVENTORY
A consumer show designed to help scrapbook and stamp vendors and
retailers sell excess inventory will be held at the Hort/Ag building
at the Indianapolis State Fairgrounds Oct. 17-18. This
first-of-its-kind show has unique features: A) Companies need
not exhibit; the show sponsor, Latte Da Productions, will sell the
products for them, at the show and online. B) At least 80% of
the products in a booth must be "old" inventory.
"I feel that the overstock/outlet-type show is needed for
both the consumers and manufacturers and retailers," said Chris
Dunrud, former of head of Midwest Scrapbook Conventions and now
president of Latte Da Productions. "The manufacturers
were generating new product so fast that the stores could no longer
keep up, and now that the consumer spending has slowed considerably,
both stores and manufacturers have inventory they need to
move."
No figures have been released regarding the number of vendors and
retailers who are scheduled to exhibit. For more info, visit www.lattedaproductions.com/save-a-latte.htm;
see the vendor paperwork at www.lattedaproductions.com/vendorpaperwork.pdf
and the bulk selling program option at www.lattedaproductions.com/bulksellingpackage.pdf.
The e-commerce site is www.scrappinoutlet.com
and the email is chris@lattedaproductions.com.
JULY RETAIL SALES REPORT
A lousy month for most retailers. The effect of the economic
stimulus checks has faded, replaced by a six year high in jobless
claims. Consumers spent their money on basics such as food and
gasoline and shopped at one-stop shopping outlets such as Wal-Mart
supercenters and wholesale clubs. According to a preliminary sales
tally by Thomson Financial, 12 of the retailers it tracks beat
estimates while 19 missed expectations, the Associated Press
reported.
Wal-Mart's same-store sales rose 3.0%, lower than analysts'
predictions of 3.4%. "With the end of the stimulus checks, we
know consumers are spending more cautiously, and we continue to see
a pronounced paycheck cycle at the end of the month," Eduardo
Castro-Wright, president of Wal-Mart's U.S division, said in a
statement. Strong departments were grocery, entertainment, and
health/wellness; weak departments were home and apparel. The company
forecast only a 1-2% same-store sales gain for August.
Other retailers' same-store sales: BJ's Wholesale Club, +16.7%
... Costco, +10.0% ... Target, -1.2% ... Limited, -5.0% ... Sakes,
-5.3% ... Nordstrom, -6.1% ... J.C. Penney, -6.5% ... Kohl's, -10.4%
... Gap, -11.0%.
"While discounters were the biggest beneficiaries of rebate
checks, consumers were still spreading the wealth among other
retailers," said Rosalind Wells, Chief Economist for the
National Retail Federation. "Because most of the rebate checks
have already been distributed, retailers will face increased
challenges generating sales in the months ahead."
Analysts were not expecting the currently underway back-to-school
season to be strong, and location may have a strong influence on the
season's success or failure. A new study by the retail consulting
company TNS Retail Forward said the only locations seeing an
increase in customer traffic are strip shopping centers with at
least one discount department store or category superstore or strip
malls with supermarket anchors, Marketing Daily reported.
Online sales are up, too, as consumers combine/condense shopping
trips or shop online.
THE HANCOCK BANKRUPTCY IS OVER
Hancock has emerged from the long dark tunnel of Chapter 11, and
all the creditors are being paid in full, something almost unheard
of in modern bankruptcy proceedings. Hancock also secured a $100
million exit financing facility provided by GE Commercial Finance
Corporate Lending, and has issued $20 million of secured notes and
warrants in connection with a rights offering to certain of its
shareholders.
"This is a huge milestone and a very happy day for Hancock
Fabrics and all of our associates, customers, business partners, and
shareholders," said President/CEO Jane Aggers. "We are
extremely pleased to have confirmed a plan of reorganization that
provides for the payment in full of all of our creditors. Through
this restructuring process we have effectively addressed our real
estate portfolio, as well as financial and operational challenges,
creating a strong foundation for the future success of Hancock
Fabrics. The company now has a stronger balance sheet, cash to fund
operations, and a streamlined store portfolio that will allow us to
compete successfully in our industry. The rapid and successful
restructuring of Hancock Fabrics is a testament to our outstanding
associates, supportive suppliers, and professional partners, and we
appreciate their hard work and dedication throughout this
process."
During the 16-month restructuring process, the company said it
designed and implemented a new store prototype and completed 57
store remodels; improved its financial and technology
infrastructure; centralized its merchandising, marketing, inventory
management, and distribution functions; launched the new www.hancockfabrics.com
website, which now provides a platform to increase data-driven
marketing/ad programs and to expand the online product offering by
50,000 new products; and has strengthened the management team.
"We are beginning to experience traction in our initiatives
and believe that these early successes in conjunction with the
ongoing efforts of our associates and management will enable the
company to be a competitive player in the specialty retail
space," said Sr. VP/CFO Robert Driskell. "Although we
still have significant opportunities for improvement, we are
emerging as a financially stable company with an improved
operational focus which should position us well for future
profitable growth."
Hancock's stock continues to be traded "over the
counter"; the symbol is HKFI.
EMAIL: CONSUMER SHOWS AND
MANUFACTURERS
There's another side to the story of consumers shows doing
poorly. ("The recent Rubber Stamp and Scrapbook Expo in
Riverside had such a low attendance that it won't return next
year.") We did the Original Rubber Stamp Convention (now
27 years old) in Carson, CA (about an hour from Riverside) last
month (one week before the Expo). Almost all of the vendors I
spoke to did very well. As for JudiKins, we did very well,
better than our average over the last 13 years.
Consumer shows are doing fine. Enthusiasts are still attending
(but maybe now via carpools). The biggest problem has been rogue
promoters creating new shows and holding them on top of existing
shows. When JudiKins started 20 years ago, there were four shows
nationwide. There are now over 90 that bill themselves as stamp
shows. (I can't even count the number of scrapbook shows.)
Next weekend I will be in Cincinnati for Stamp-away (now
in its 16th year). It was the first show east of the Mississippi and
now we do it every year. The show is put on by a stamp store owner
who started it as a promotion for her store. She has classes in her
store for several days before and after the show. The show weekend
is her best weekend of the year.
Interestingly, when we are one of the top selling companies at
the show, we are also one of the top selling stamp companies in her
store that weekend. One year early on, the owner decided to make
extra money by having her own booth at the show. She bought lots of
new stamps from Rubber Stampede (now owned by Delta) for her booth.
She set up some tables and put out the stamps with no samples, no
make-it take-its and no demos. It flopped.
When done correctly, manufacturers doing retail shows drives
traffic to stores. It is the old Hollywood saying, "There is no
such thing as negative publicity." One year we made a deal with
three stores in Dallas. If we stopped doing the local stamp show
they would make up our loss in sales with orders. We stayed away for
two years. Not only did we lose all our retail sales, but our
wholesale sales in all three stores fell to almost nothing. Out of
sight, out of mind! Rob Bostick, JudiKins
EMAIL: WHY THIS DOWNTURN MAY
BE DIFFERENT
As I read your newsletter, I was thinking about your comments
about a simultaneous recession and a fallow period between trends
making this period different than past industry downturns.
Another big potential difference between previous downturns is
the effect of technology. There are many things people do on the
Internet, for no or relatively little cost, that are huge and
growing every day: email, researching, studying, job-related work,
checking investments, playing games, chatting with friends, etc.
Plus, there are DVD's, On Demand tv and movies, and game consuls.
The other day I saw a retired gentleman texting a kid in his 20's.
The use of technology is spreading whether anyone likes it or
not.
The craft industry is part of the relatively inexpensive
leisure-time business segment. But there are other parts of this
segment that are not in a fallow period. Just look at the
Nintendo Wii sales. I bet a Wii or Play Station, accessories, and a
dozen games are about the same amount as many consumers might spend
to be involved in painting, scrapbooking, jewelry making, etc.
We are in uncharted waters and, as I have said repeatedly the
last few years, retailers and suppliers have not maximized
technology on the front end with consumers like we have on the back
end with financial data, supply chain communication, etc. Peter
Heinsimer, Westlake Associates/GreenWorks Technology and
Design, Inc.
EMAIL: E-PROJECTS INSTEAD OF
BOOKS?
In the previous issue CLN asked why there are fewer and
fewer 16-page project books, hundreds of which were once sold in
every craft store.
I certainly have noticed the absence. It also seems to me that in
the chains, there is less and less emphasis on books of all kinds.
This should be a natural market for this kind of book. Did it dry up
in the chains because books weren't performing well?
I think this is a shame because books like this spark creativity,
which, in turn, get people to buy more product. I think of it as the
equivalent of the recipes on the back of the cake mix box. I may not
make them, but they do give me ideas.
I would suspect that other people like them as well. So what is
the manufacturer to do? They have a good marketing tool in books,
but they aren't getting into the consumers' hands.
Would eBooks or even single eProjects sold directly from the
manufacturer's site work? Enticing pictures of the projects could be
on the website, fulfillment could be automatic, and the customer
pays the production cost. For the manufacturer the main cost would
be whatever fees are spent on development (i.e., designers) and not
on actual production.
If these were eBooks, they could also be sold through other
distribution channels, such as independents, or Amazon.
It seems to me that this could be a solution to the problem. Janet
M. Perry, Napa Needlepoint, napaneedlepoint@gmail.com
(Note: An example of downloading and paying for a
project rather than a book, www.beadingdaily.com
offers individual projects for $4.)
RANDOM NOTES, RANDOM THOUGHTS
1. John McDonald's wife, Dixie, was the ad director at Craftrends
when I was editor. Without question, they have better marketing
instincts than any other couple I've ever met in the industry.
Pretty darn nice folks, too.
2. Kudos to Jane Aggers, CEO of Hancock, and her
team for guiding the company out of bankruptcy. Years ago when House
of Fabrics emerged from bankruptcy, the CEO vented to me for a half
hour about how hard it was to run a business while in bankruptcy.
And to my knowledge, Hancock is the only retail chain to
emerge from bankruptcy since the bankruptcy law was changed a few
years ago. Bombay and Sharper Image couldn't do it.
3. Recently I mentioned that a particular category was up,
and a publisher asked me for my source because he wasn't seeing it
in his sales. That got me thinking. First, I should have said interest
in the category was up. But it might not be reflected in book sales.
Most craft enthusiasts have a stash of products and of books
with projects they hope to do some day. When times get tough, rather
than buy yet more project books, they use those they already own.
Perhaps publishers of hardcover books might feel the pinch of tough
economic times more than other types of companies. Maybe it's time
for the return of the 16-page, lower-priced project book?
MISCELLANEOUS NEWS
OLYMPICS. Todd Bachman, 62, the U.S. tourist who was
murdered in Beijing as the Olympics were opening, was Chair/CEO of
Bachman's Floral, Home & Garden in Minneapolis, a 123-year-old
gift/floral/garden shop. He was a customer of many industry-related
vendors. His wife, Barbara, was stabbed repeatedly and underwent
eight hours of surgery. As of CLN's deadline she was in
critical but stable condition. The company has a website with the
latest info: www.visionsweb.com/ToddBachman/index.asp.
RESEARCH. To help members understand its research and how
it applies to their businesses, CHA will host a free research
presentation conference call Wed., Sept. 10 from 3-4:30 pm EDT.
Participation is limited first come, first served. To reserve
space, email Tara Smith at tsmith@craftandhobby.org
and include "Research presentation" in the subject line.
JOB OPENING. Polyform is looking for a Sr. New Products
Manager who will identify, develop, and commercialize new programs
and products to increase the market in the modeling clay category.
For info and sending resumes, email Robbin Bedard at rbedard@polyformproducts.com.
REPS NEEDED. A manufacturer of embellishments for paper
crafting needs reps in Northern CA, UT, AZ, CO, WY, KS, Northeast
U.S. Email mchiu@creativecharms.com.
PAINTING. Plaid has 12 new instructional
two-to-three-minute videos at www.plaidonline.com.
Plaid's consumer research indicated that 94% of respondents said
videos were important as a means to learn techniques and find
inspiration and nearly 750,000 viewers have watched One
Stroke learn-to-paint videos with Donna Dewberry on YouTube.
OLYMPICS. CLN reported that marine-life artist
Wyland had, with children, painted incredible murals in Beijing to
promote environmental awareness. Fredrixฎ Artist Canvas by Tara
Materials supplied the canvas, and photos can be found at web.mac.com/barry_diamond/Site_2/Welcome.html.
YARN. Attendance at the recent Knit & Crochet Show in
Manchester, NH was surprisingly good, given the higher gas and
airline prices, plus horrible weather. Pre-registration was 108%
above last year, and 1,000+ registered onsite. The next Knit
& Crochet Show is Sept. 12-14 in Portland. Visit www.knitandcrochetshow.com.
SEWING. The new season (#2700) of America Sews with Sue
Hausmann will highlight projects to give homes a fresh new look.
(Comment: Given the housing/credit slump, consumers should be
looking to update their current homes.) The series is produced by Husqvarna
Viking and KS Inc. Productions. It uplinks with PBS
stations Sept. 28.
NEEDLEPOINT. At the National NeedleArts Assn.'s
recent NeedleArts Market in Columbus, OH, the association's
Needlepoint Group hosted its traditional Galleria reception, a
display of the latest new designs for home decor and fashion and
now the exhibit is online at www.tnna.org.
SIGN OF THE TIMES. China is expected to surpass the U.S.
as the world's largest manufacturer this coming year, according to
U.S. research firm Global Insight and reported by the Financial
Times. China will account for 17% of manufactured products
($11.8 trillion) and the U.S. will make 16%.
MAGAZINES. The Associated Press reported on studies which
indicate cash-strapped consumers are cutting back on buying
magazines. Newsstand sales of U.S. magazines fell 6.3% in the first
half of the year, the Audit Bureau of Circulations told the AP.
Overall magazine circulation, including subscription and newsstand
sales, was flat at 349.9 million copies. In the second quarter,
magazines' ad pages fell 8.2%, according to the Publishers
Information Bureau.
SHOWS, I. Although it's only August, hotel rooms for the CHA
Winter Show (Jan. 25-28 in Anaheim) are going fast. As of Aug. 6,
2007, 5,046 room nights had been booked. As of Aug. 6, 2008 7,542
room nights had been booked, an increase of 49.5%. Granted, the show
is earlier in '09, but the Marriott Courtyard, for example, is
already sold out. To reserve rooms, visit www.chashow.org
and click on Show Info. ... CHA extended the deadline for
sponsoring a workshop at the Winter Show until Aug. 22. To download
the form, visit www.chashow.org.
SHOWS. II. The exhibitor prospectus for the NAMTA
show (May 7-9 in Louisville) is available. Call 704-892-6244 or
visit www.namta.org.
SHOWS, III. CHA has sponsored teleconference calls with
members regarding moving the summer show to Orlando and adding a
consumer show. To hear a recording of the first call, visit www.craftandhobby.org/_audioconferencecall.
CONGRATS. To Arnold and Mabel Grummer of Arnold
Grummer's Paper Making on their 60th wedding anniversary and
Arnold's 85th birthday. Visit www.arnoldgrummer.com
and the story of how the company started is at www.arnoldgrummer.com/blog/index.cfm.
CONDOLENCES. To the family of Jean Bourges of Bourges
Color. She was very active in NAMTA and a recipient of
its Lifetime Achievement award.
MISCELLANEOUS NEWS: CHAIN
STORES
QUOTATION. "The level of requests that we're getting
right now for price increases is at the highest level that I can
remember. We've had to pass along price increases as we've received
them, but what's most important is the gap in price between us and
our competitors, whether that's Target or Costco or others."
Tom Schoewe, Wal-Mart CEO (Reuters)
DUMB CROOK OF THE MONTH. Police in Niles, OH charged a
truck driver for JB Hunt Trucking with stealing merchandise he was
to deliver to area Jo-Ann stores, Vindy.com reported. The
driver and his wife and parents then proceeded to hold a yard sale
with the stolen merchandise. Police found product ID numbers on
sewing machines, fabric, and seasonal items that matched those
missing from the stores inventories. The entire family has been
arrested.
STORES. Hobby Lobby expands to another state. It will open
its first store in New York state on Sept. 8 in Webster.
PEOPLE Brian Maciak, former VP/Assistant General Counsel
for Michaels, was named VP/General Counsel for Pinnacle, an
international real estate firm. ... Jeff Nerland resigned as Hancock's
interim Exec VP. He had been hired to help guide the company through
the bankruptcy. Robert Driskell was later hired as CFO.
STOCKS. A.C. Moore: $8.08, up $0.01 ... Jo-Ann: $24.15, up
$2.38 ... Wal-Mart: $59.37, up $1.62 ... Dow Jones: 11,659.90, up
2.9%. (Note: All changes in price are since 7/25 and are
exclusive of dividends.)
THE CREATIVE NETWORK: JOB
OPENINGS
To see the latest listings by the only personnel recruitment firm
specializing in our industry, click on Jobs in the left-hand column
or click HERE.
LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY, PT I
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated
with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the
least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is
directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you
never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for
work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will
have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the
one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water,
the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting
someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone
you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a
machine won't work, it will.
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