Insights on business -- and life.
Modern Technology and the Post-50 Generation
These are modern ...
by a CLN Subscriber (September 20, 2010)
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my kids,
their spouses, grandkids and great grandkids could communicate with
me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple
as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
That was before one of my grandkids hooked me
up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and
Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix, and something that sends every
message to my cell phone.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with
the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire
next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell
phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday
because they say I get lost every now and then going to the grocery
store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the
Blue Tooth (it's red) phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I
wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes & Noble talking to
my wife, and everyone within 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I
have to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash
board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I
had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would
sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating." You would think she could be
nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go
with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next
light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and
tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to
develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to
learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them
for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three
phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair
cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when
the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me.
They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would
think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden
"Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a
loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking
confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me,
"Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual."
Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.
I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered,
"No, but I do toot a lot."